I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
