Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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