I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
whose parrot is this?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
