idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
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Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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