the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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