I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
