it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
