Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
