You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
