Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have so many feelings about this burrito
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
