At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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