Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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