My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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