I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize