:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
