But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
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he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
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As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed