When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.