Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.