Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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