Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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