as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
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Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
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I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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