I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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