Whod you bang
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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