Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
