You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
