we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize