I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
