Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
