just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
