I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize