I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
