just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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