speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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