I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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