Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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