You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
