before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
