nut hugger
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
