he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
