2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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