Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
