her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize