Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
