this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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