yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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