JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
