Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
