im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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