I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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