Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
