need another drink. this is the easiest way
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
