Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
