You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just google imaged poop.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
