i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
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On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
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He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Drunk is not a location!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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