Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Soap is not a condiment
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
