the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
