ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
