oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i barfeds in our rink
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
